Hallway Survival

Isaiah, don’t react. Just keep on moving, otherwise you’re going to be late.

This is what I must tell myself in order to proceed through the hallways unbothered by the lingering clutter of people, excessive amounts of PDA, acrid stench from those idly standing by, and last but certainly not least, people’s constant need to involve themselves in senseless drama. Unfortunately, many of us (those who empathize) have grown accustomed to these daily obstacles.

After thirteen years in school there are many things I have witnessed, which has forced me to create an internal list of my many pet peeves regarding high school (pda is a huge one).

  1. They aren’t going anywhere, I promise.

School should be a sanctuary for learning (even though we sometimes despise it), not a playground for overly emotional teens and their three week relationships.

I’m not saying be single for the rest of your life, I’m simply saying there are times AND places where it is appropriate for these moments of intensity. In front of my english class is NOT one of them.

  1. I said they aren’t GOING ANYWHERE!

Why must couples feel the need to grope and/or squeeze their significant other on site during EACH passing period? I have no clue. If “distance makes the heart grow fonder” then I would suggest limiting this face-to-face/mouth-to-mouth interaction to see if the relationship will actually endure for more than three weeks. It’s just an idea.

  1. Who coined the named Times Square?

Unlike the actual Times Square Garden in New York, there is a lack of purpose when bustling to your next class. In New York, if you’re standing or in the way you get pushed and shoved, but if you push or shove here it’s practically a crime (which makes me a criminal). Do not stand in the way or prepare to get nudged.

Advice: Walk with a purpose.

  1. Surviving the hallways is kinda like driving.

In order to achieve the least amount of resistance, it is best to treat the hallway as if you are on the road. You would never drive in the direction of incoming traffic, otherwise you risk a head on collision. Don’t ever stop in the middle of a hallway, you will only aggravate those behind you.

It was truly hard for me to keep this short and not go too in detail because the number of pet peeves that I have exceeds the total runtime of the 1963 film “Cleopatra” (which lasted a whopping four hours).

Keep it PG.