Chicken Soup for the Loser’s Soul: Valentine’s Day Ideas for the Lonely Heart


Hey y’all, it’s Andy Gottschalk, acclaimed essayist/motivational speaker/heart-2-heart mentor, here. I’m writing right now to console you. It’s okay you’re a loser.

It’s okay that you don’t have Valentine’s Day plans.

In a culture that totally fetishizes having plans and being busy and having the perfect mate, it’s hard to feel okay with the fact that you’re alone. But worry no more, K? I’ve got a little something for you.

Here’s a list of things that are perfect for the dateless loners this V-day (AKA ME).

1. Pizza Delivery

Who wants to make food when you can buy pizza??? And what better place to buy pizza from than the locally-owned, Mafia Mike’s Pizza?

Scary name aside, Mafia Mike’s has super large pizzas that tend to be just the right size for days when you feel like eating your emotions. With enticing flavors and even more attractive names (The Big Kauhoona; that stuff is real) you’re bound to find a good slice or two. Just call in!

2. and Pandora Radio

100% of everybody go to the internet when bored. Most all immediately go to Facebook, which, to me, usually proves to be the biggest let-down. Instead of being out with people yourself, you see what others are doing while you’re at home. It’s like a big letdown with lots of people from school that you’d rather not be reminded by.

So rather than being that usual person, you can switch it up and go to sites that don’t completely make you sad and provide some mindless entertainment.

Go to Actually, don’t go if you don’t want to because it’s a site that hooks you up with random strangers in an anonymous chatting situation. It lets you talk to creeps across the globe that are just as lonely as you and that can be fun, you know, if you keep your internet security/safety/privacy stuff in mind.

And while you’re talking to a random weirdo in Canada, you can turn on Pandora radio. I suggest Britney Spears radio. Just to feel nostalgic.

3. Blogging and creating and being imaginative

Guys. Creating stuff is so much fun. Whether it’s a Tumblr or a mix CD or even a scrapbook for your mom. I haven’t done that last one, but if it’s your type of thing, go for it.

There’s something so special and fun about the ability to make things that could potentially last forever. When you have something you’ve created, there’s a huge piece of satisfaction that comes along with it.

Try going on any blogging platform. Write what you want, add pictures, ANYTHING, because it doesn’t matter. As long as you enjoy it. It will give you freedom to make decisions and be a part of something NEW. (ALL CAPS MAKE MY ADJECTIVES SEEM MORE INTERESTING.)

Or search up some crafts. Or draw something. Or watercolor. I do all these things at sometime or another, and I would suggest you do too. Right now, I’m just cutting out pictures from magazines and finding art at thrift stores and gathering a bunch of crap and taping it to my walls. It occupies my time and is simply enjoyable. You should try it. Just have fun.

4. Go on a walk or run

You’re probably like “~wtf this guy;s telling Mi 2 walk & run. I dont need sum1 2 tell mi That!!!1 I do that Anywayz”.

Yes, you’re correct. You might already walk or run. But I’m suggesting it because, often times, walking or running gives you alone time (I already have ample) and provides some room for real air and not just your bedroom or wherever you are right now.

You can think for yourself and not have people talking and it’s just nice. Plus it’s healthy.

5. Have fun.

Just be spontaneous. Not having plans only gives you room to do what you want or make plans. Call your friends, make some cupcakes, dance to your favorite song. It’s all possible, just do it. (Not an intentional Nike reference.)

Photos: (cc) squidpants, Gerry Balding, imedagoze