Summer is, above all, for watching movies. You can’t deny it. Here’s a list of movies and their reviews so you can decide which ones to enjoy and which ones to make fun of.
The Dark Knight Rises
Gotham city’s billionaire vigilante returns to fight crime, hoping to reclaim his reputation as the hero of the town. Whereas the Joker fought with intellect and intimidation, Bane, Batman’s newest competitor, will use strategy and physical power to try to overcome the seemingly un-overcomable superhero.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Our 16th president avenges his mother’s killer (a vampire) by killing other vampires. Who knew justice could be so entertaining?
Moonrise Kingdom
Wes Anderson makes a Wes Anderson-y film that only Wes Anderson would make. Roman Coppola helps. It’s 1965 and two 12-year old pen-pals decide to run away in the name of love. Everybody freaks out, naturally, and tries to find them. Did I mention they’re 12-year olds?
Snow White and the Huntsman
The classic fairy tale is recreated, sadly, with no dwarves involved. The huntsman sent to kill Snow White, instead, protects and guides her. Kristen Stewart is Snow White. No vampires involved.
Dark Shadows
Tim Burton recreates a show of the same name, a gothic, dark soap opera with vampires. Johnny Depp is the expected protagonist, a vampire from 200 years ago named Barnabas Collins. Barnabas is released from his grave where he was buried alive and returns to his estate, now the home of the modern Collins family.
Brave
Merida, a princess of a Scottish kingdom, is betrothed to three of the Lords’ sons. But she doesn’t want to marry, she wants her own life. She intervenes in the traditional archery contest. As chaos comes, she turns to an old woman for guidance. The woman sets a curse on Merida and her kingdom, and Merida must be brave (movie title) to lift the curse and save everyone.
Releases: June 22
Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
For some reason those zoo animals are still really lost and they end up in Europe. They find home at a circus which they make more Madagacar-y.
